My sweet moments with God were indescribable. They were during exulted moments and ordinary moments. But most of those times were the harrowing ones. They were those times when almost no mortal soul was around and the power of faith came so miraculous, that even I couldn’t believe would have endured those crushing times. There is no doubt, each of us has his/her own trial in life to surpass, but also, here, each one of us is provided the strength how to triumph over our tests, if we have faith.
Living in faith is God’s grace to everyone. It is also a magic power for us that God is giving.
I remember before my father’s death, while we were waiting for him to come home in the night, in my young age (high school), I have learned to just hold the crucifix (as I can grasp) in the altar saying nothing. I couldn’t say anything, because my questions might frighten my crying mother and my young siblings. I felt there was something wrong and the night must pass to just trust in the Lord all of our lives.
I was my father’s brat girl. In fact, I almost grew up getting what I wanted. What I wanted was no more than I could need, or we could need, but only the security of having a father. I was proud at that. And until he died (killed by bullets; murdered), so I was stripped of some vanity. Here, I thought, I was not only poor, but bereft. May God forgive me if my notions are wrong.
From that time on, God and I became very intimate and my faith was all in him. I prayed to him for my father, for families, and for all the orphans in the world. And then I thought, why would I be so afraid, when God is the real father of all?
Moreover, vanity can be stripped when your heart is full of prayer. Prayers would be hard to utter or to evoke when intentions are ill, if you curse people, pray bad for your enemies, or just pray and pray for your own comforts. How do you expect God will answer your prayers if you haven’t forgiven others, or shared something that can ease others being? Don’t compare yourself with the heathen. The heathen will not find peace in their hearts.
Vanity is stripped in a conviction that you are a child of God, as much as others are. Faith is entrusting one God of all, our lives in prayer. Faith is believing there is charity and salvation for everyone and working at it in this life.
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